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 “...your
writing lacks the degree of emotional punch we need for this
line...”
This
is one of the most common reasons editors give when they reject
manuscripts. Unfortunately, it’s not an easy problem to solve,
because to a certain extent, the emotional quality of writing
depends on the writer’s personality.
For
some people, emotions are always bubbling close to the surface
and feelings pour out easily when they write, but if this doesn’t
happen for you, don’t give up. There are some practical
approaches that might help you to pin down this elusive quality.
Let’s
start by analysing the term “emotional punch”. It’s
tempting to concentrate on the first word and to think that if
you’ve included plenty of beautifully described feelings you’re
on the right track. But think for a moment about the other word
- the “punch” factor.
A
punch brings an image of a clenched fist - of a blow delivered
with maximum force. It catches you by surprise and gets you in
the guts. Sufficient emotional punch gives your story the “wham”
that sets it apart from others.
I
believe the first challenge is to find a scenario that keeps
your characters (and readers) on edge.
Think
of the simplest, but most widely known stories - Red Riding
Hood, lured to her doom by the ultimate predatory male...
Cinderella, trapped in the original dysfunctional family ...
Rapunzel, stolen as a baby and locked away...
Without
fail, these characters have a hard time before they reach their
happy endings.
Romances
are modern fairy tales and the most popular plot lines - secret
babies, marriages of convenience, pregnant and alone heroines,
reunions, switched at the altar scenarios - all set up
situations that create easily recognisable emotional dilemmas.
Beginning
writers often have very light conflicts with no real threats to
the characters’ happiness. To get emotional depth, you have to
find ways to crank up the difficulties your hero and heroine
face.
Let
me digress for a moment. For many years now, I’ve walked for
an hour a day, but I haven’t been able to lose weight.
Recently, I read an explanation. My fat cells have become very
ho-hum about this familiar exercise. I needed to give them a
bigger challenge. So I’ve added hills to my walking regime and
I’m swimming on alternate days and at last, I’m starting to
see results.
Similarly
in writing romance, you need to ‘up the ante’. You need to
raise the emotional stakes in your plots by including bigger
challenges.
Recently,
I had the idea of a single, city girl, who discovers she’s
pregnant around the same time she’s offered the research
contract of her dreams - to work on location for a television
network in various isolated locales in Europe. But... taking the
baby isn’t an option.
She
goes to the outback to ask the baby’s father (country based
boyfriend) to care for the baby for the time she’s away.
However, he wants legitimacy for the baby and proposes a
marriage of convenience (with the hope of keeping her).
OK
- there was enough for a story, but I wanted more emotional
punch. How could I increase the problems? A story in the local
paper gave me an idea. What if she gets to the outback and
discovers that the baby’s father has been killed in a
mustering accident? Now it’s his grieving older brother who
wants to keep the baby in the family and proposes the MOC!
Getting better, but I needed internal dilemmas. For the heroine,
there was the motherly dilemma of abandoning her baby. I made
this more complicated by adding doubts about her ability to be a
good mother. Her own childhood had been spent in and out foster
homes, because her mother had been an alcoholic and couldn’t
care for her properly.
For
the hero, I chose guilt about his brother’s accident and the
added pressure of the high expectations of his close-knit family
and conservative, Federal politician father.
And
then my editor suggested an overriding problem - a past
encounter for the central couple just to give an edge to their
sexual tension.
So
now I had a tense couple, guilt and grief over the brother’s
death, another man’s baby on the way, the threat of the
heroine’s pending departure, her insecurities and the
conservative attitudes of the hero’s family - at last I had
the punch I was looking for.
Think
about your current heroine and hero. Do they face dilemmas that
take them out of their comfort zone? Are they troubled by
internal doubts? Are they wrestling with self image problems -
feelings of not being worthy enough to earn the unconditional
love of another?
If
not, think about how you can make life harder for them - at
least for a time. This will mean giving serious thought to both
the external and internal conflicts they must face.
Even
if you’re writing comedy, you need these dilemmas. Give them
external pressures that won’t let them ignore their internal
angst. And then on top of this, give them a burning attraction
that only serves to make the existing tensions more difficult.
Of course, you can give your hero and heroine the biggest
dilemmas in the world and there still won’t be much “emotional
punch” if you haven’t created characters your reader will
really care about.
Would
millions of people around the world have cared so much about
Princess Di’s death if they hadn’t already loved her?
Think
of a dark moment in a book or a movie that has really moved you.
How did you feel about the characters at the very point the
disaster occurred?
How
had you felt about them three chapters earlier? Chances you were
already very connected. You loved and admired them, worried
about them - even feared that this sadness, or something like it
might come.
If
you want to create such lovable characters in your own writing,
you, the author, must love them first. And this kind of love
grows the way all love grows - from knowing them intimately.
Whether
you plan your characters in a detailed profile before you start,
or whether you let them grow as the story evolves, you have to
get inside them. You have to explore their goals, their
background, their values and fears... and most importantly,
their ability to change.
I’ve
become so involved with my characters that I’ve lain in bed at
night, worrying about their future (beyond the book). I knew
their love was solid, but would they stay healthy? Would they
have children? Would they have money problems down the track?
I
was quite shocked to realise I’d “lost it” to the point
that I’d tricked myself into thinking of my own creations as
real. But if we can suspend our own disbelief, we’re probably
on the road to making the characters come alive for our readers.
Remember
to give your readers enough details to help them to see your
characters the way you do. Show how your characters feel, not
simply by describing their inner thoughts, but by showing the
way their feelings affect their dialogue, body language,
gestures and behaviour.
The
last point I want to make is for me, as a writer, the most
important. It’s why I write.
You
need to use words with the same care and flair that an artist
uses colour. This is the writer’s responsibility. Editors give
advice on plotting and characterization, but how these are
expressed is up to you.
Be
exacting. Measure the emotional weight of every word so that
each sentence paints exactly the right picture!
Words
that seem totally unrelated to emotion can help to build up the
atmosphere in a scene. Choose verbs precisely to describe the
emotion behind a movement or gesture. Your hero’s feelings
become clearer if, instead of merely sitting, he slouches,
slumps, sprawls or settles.
Add
layers to the emotional tone by finding words or phrases that
evoke an idea and then let the image echo through the book. My
current heroine is a mixture of toughness and dignity. She walks
like a proud princess, but she has a smoky, tough-girl voice and
I’ve tried to bring this out in varying, recurring ways.
Another
version of this technique involves a hero labelling a heroine
with a well chosen nickname ( or vice-versa).
Use
elements of your setting to enhance emotional tone - weather,
colour, sounds and smells are helpful in outdoor scenes. Harness
the impact of nature. Bright gardens, deserted beaches,
shadows... moonlight... gloom-gathering storms... crashing
waves... They’ve all been used before, but for good reason;
they bring atmosphere into your scene.
Urban
and interior settings can be just as effective. In movies, set
designers go to enormous lengths to coordinate every detail to
achieve the exact visual impact the director wants. You are your
own director. Simple or lavish, objects chosen with care can
create an important sense of atmosphere. Clothing, purposefully
described can add to a mood. Has your character selected a
garment with meticulous care or has she thrown it on hastily?
Does it make her look more beautiful, more vulnerable, less
prim, more noble?
Pay
attention to the rhythm of sentence patterns. For dramatic
tension, short sharp sentences can be effective. Longer, more
flowing sentences can soothe or seduce.
Read
your work aloud! Listen to the impact of the words you’ve
chosen. Try to ensure that each word contributes to plot or
characterisation and emotion.
But
remember, enough is enough.
Too
many plot dilemmas without relief will give your poor reader
nervous exhaustion. Remember you need quiet or fun-filled
moments when love can blossom and the reader can draw breath.
When
your characters are faced with highly charged, emotional
dilemmas, don’t let them become too self absorbed or neurotic.
They will have faults, but they must also have backbone and
spirit. Their courage and compassion must win through!
And
when it comes to putting emotional colour in your writing, be
cautious with purple (prose)!!
To
sum up, these are the ingredients of Emotional Punch:
One:
Choose plot situations that create deeply emotional dilemmas for
your characters. Make your characters suffer.
Two:
Create characters who are believable, likeable and courageous.
Readers want to respect your characters. Make the hero and
heroine truly heroic.
Three:
Let your love of writing flow onto the page. Weave a
word-spell around your readers!
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